And as I got a little bit older, I started getting more concerned about what people would think of my singing. So I just stopped singing for years. 

I got into piano lessons when I was somewhere between the ages of ten and thirteen. And my teacher started giving me really difficult classical pieces which were not even in the realm of music that I was interested in playing. And it just got so difficult. 

I remember sitting at the piano trying for like, hours. And just getting to the point where I broke down because I just could not get this song right. I stopped singing and I stopped playing the piano. 

And I was still writing songs though. I don't know how I did it without singing or playing the piano, honestly. I always felt like my songs weren't very good. And I was very nervous to show anyone any of my songs. 

So as I started actually playing and singing again and showing people my songs, I was progressing but it was a very slow progression. 

I really have always wanted to be a musician who can just sit down at the piano or start singing, and it comes easily. 

I had some vocal issues develop where every time I would start singing anything at all, even something that used to be easy, my throat would just tighten up and it would start hurting so bad. And that was really difficult because singing was such an important thing to me. And it felt like such a big part of my life. And I'd finally gotten over a little bit of the fear of singing. Enough to at least do it. And then my voice was gone and I just couldn't use it at all. 

I was just about to quit music when I found Musical U. 

The first lesson I did was different from any kind of music lesson I'd ever done. And I started just picking up on things about music that I had never realized before. I was able to play some songs that I had never gotten near. Already having done part of Musical U made me trust Musical U made me trust the Next Level program before I was even in it. Because I had already seen I was actually improving for the first time in a long, long time. 

The personalized coaching was a huge help for me because I had done piano lessons with two different teachers, voice lessons with two or three teachers, and I had done many online programs. 

The amount of YouTube videos that I have watched, to try and learn music, I cannot even count! And none of it was working. 

Even when I had had in-person teachers before, it was kind of like “Okay, I'm going to tell you to do this. And then you learn this and then come back to me.” Instead of like “What do you want to learn?” 

It was so important because I got to share what I wanted to do, and I was actually listened to. And that was what I got to learn. And it was easier for me to invest myself in it as well because I was having fun with it. 

The H4 model made me realize how all these different elements work together. All I knew for a while was that I wanted to be able to play well. I didn't realize that that was more than just like, playing an instrument or singing a song. 

I was like “If I can just play the notes, or sing the notes that I'm trying to sing or play, then that's it. That's all I have to do.” 

The biggest “aha” moment for me was being up on stage and realizing how important it is to go back to the basics if you're having trouble with something. 

The first audition I had for the worship team was on piano. I was trying so hard to sound good that I just played way above my skill level. And it was not working. 

For a long time I would not go near anything too simple. Because I thought that I was above that. Which I realize now is a very arrogant way of looking at that. 

I kind of clued in to the fact that these more “difficult” songs are never going to get easier if I don't play something that's easy. 

Another huge moment for me was finally being able to play by ear and improvise. I was still playing very simply, but it came so naturally and it sounded good as well. 

I don't play a lot of bass, but I have a bass guitar. And there was one day where I was playing “Knockin’ on Heaven's Door” on the bass. And I knew the bass notes just because I had played the song on guitar before. So I just started playing the root notes and that was it. 

Then all of a sudden, I was just not even realizing at first, that I was playing more than what I had intended to play. And that I was actually playing by ear and improvising. 

And that shocked me when I realized what I was doing. I was like “What? Did I just do that?!” 

I got my voice back somewhere during the program. All of a sudden I could just sing again. 

And at first I was a little bit afraid to sing because I was like “Well, what if it happens again and my throat starts hurting?” But as I started off slowly, I was just able to sing again. 

For the last several years of my life I just have wanted to be up on stage. And I was too scared to for a long time. And within the last year I actually have started playing on the worship team at my church,  playing with other musicians for the first time. And it's amazing. 

And one of the things that really helped me to be able to do that was just changing the way I thought about music. 

It's made it so that I'm not so embarrassed when I make a mistake. I don't cringe the way I did before. I don't mind the mistakes. I mean, there's probably always going to be a couple in there. But it's just so fun and I love doing it. 

I cannot stand hearing people say that they're just no good at music, or that they just gave up on it because they weren't “talented”. 

I was in a place where I was just so stuck that I was going to quit music. And I was sure that nothing was going to help me. Until I stumbled across Musical U. And it just helped me so much. 

I was just so afraid when it came to anything, but especially music. Because I was invested in music. The more important something was to me, the more nervous I was about “messing it up”. 

Now I'm not scared of showing people songs I wrote. In fact, if I like the song I don't care who hears it. I will play it for anyone! 

I'm able to actually sing and mess up. And the difference is that I'm able to sing anyway. And when I do mess up, it just does not feel like the end of the world anymore. 

It has helped me in more than just my music. It's helped me in several areas of my life. 

I'm able to just be less reserved. And just do something not necessarily without being afraid, but more being okay with being afraid. And being able to put myself in those positions where it is a little uncomfortable. And the more I do that, the more comfortable I get. 

And when I'm looking at something that I want to learn how to do now, music or not, it's much easier for me to see that I could actually learn that thing. 

It is the most amazing feeling to be able to just play or sing something. 

And it's fun. It's more fun than I thought it would be. 

I was going to quit music because it was no longer fun and I wasn't getting anywhere. And now I'm actually getting somewhere with it. 

And it's so fun to do. And I love it so much. I love music more than I can even say.